Life of a Stay at Home Mom

I can't believe it's Wednesday already. Time flies when you're busy, which is a good thing. I have so many things on my mind that I'm having a hard time keep my thoughts straight while having a conversation with someone. Why is it with women we can't just relax and say to hell with it ? I know I'm generalizing. Today I was thinking of bills, errands and what I have to do on Thursday to get ready for Friday. My brain is driving me crazy. My mom always told me to make a list to organize my thoughts. I try to do that and hope that I don't stay up all night thinking about stuff. Sometimes I like to leave the television on before I sleep so that I can listen to what's on instead of focusing on my thoughts.

I am trying to organize a small party for a friend who is turning 30th, which is no big deal. Then I realized that on Friday I have to come up with a science project to do with preschoolers and also bring snacks for them. I know I can handle all this, it will be fine, so I wonder why I'm stressing myself. Things happen and I need to take care of it. I need to learn to let go and not think it's the end of the world if it doesn't get done. The world will still go on if it's not perfect. Wish me luck that I don't lose my mind between now and Sunday.

Chaos and Dread

It's Monday today and a lot of the people go to the office make calls and go to their important meetings to get the job done. At this moment chaos and dread is how I describe my life. My house and closets are just chaotic. I can't even find the remote control for the T.V. because of the chaos. My son and I recently returned from Malaysia from our annual pilgrimage to visit my family. We've been dealing with jet lag for the whole week. I've been sleeping here and there for a few hours when I can, so I'm still kinda tired and unmotivated. I try to do as much as I can when I'm awake. I still have to unpack our luggage while putting away our summer clothes and
organizing our winter clothes. It doesn't help that my 3 year old son keeps pulling out toys that I put away. I'm on zombie mode right now. Beside picking up ten-thousand-and-one toys, I also have to go through my sons clothes to see what's too small and what he can wear for next summer. I'm waiting to be inspired. While waiting for my inspiration I thought I might blog for today.

The feeling of dread comes in when I think of the work that I have to do. I dread that the holidays are coming. I dread the decorating, the baking, the shopping, the wrapping, the putting away the decorations for next season. Living in the U.S is a lot of work for a Mom. It doesn't matter what race or religion you are, there's always a reason to celebrate something. Malaysia is near the equator so we wear summer clothes all year round. There's no pulling out the winter stuff and putting away the summer stuff. There's no decorating the house with Easter bunnies, 4th of July BBQ, Halloween costumes and carving pumpkins, Thanksgiving feast, Christmas decorating, Christmas baking, Christmas wrapping, Christmas returning, or Christmas cards because we don't celebrate seasons. It's a full time job (and a non-paying one at that) trying to keep up with the holidays in the U.S.. In the midst of the chaos and dread I try to create memories for my son of holidays that people celebrate in this country.

My house is not tidy most of the time. It doesn't always smell like baked cookies. I'm no Martha Stewart. It's foreign to me but I try to fake it and go with the flow.

...I'm still waiting for my inspiration to get my chores done.